By Tim Aiello, MA, LPC, NCC, ADHD-CCSP, ASDCS
Clinical Director & Therapist | Myndset Therapeutics
Introduction: What Is Psychological Flexibility?
Imagine waking up to a carefully planned day, but suddenly, everything changes. A last-minute work meeting gets scheduled, your favorite café is unexpectedly closed, or your friend cancels plans at the last minute. For many neurotypical individuals, adjusting to these changes is frustrating but manageable. However, for Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults, these disruptions can feel overwhelming, triggering stress, anxiety, or even shutdowns.
The ability to adapt to change, shift perspectives, and regulate emotions in the face of uncertainty is known as psychological flexibility (Hayes et al., 2006). It allows people to respond to life’s unexpected challenges with resilience rather than becoming stuck in distress.
But here’s the challenge: for many neurodivergent individuals, psychological flexibility doesn’t come easily. Executive functioning differences, sensory sensitivities, heightened emotional responses, and difficulty with cognitive shifting make adapting to change significantly harder. Understanding why this happens can lead to greater self-compassion and strategies for building resilience.
Why Psychological Flexibility Is Difficult for Neurodivergent Adults
Psychological flexibility relies on several cognitive and emotional processes that are often different in Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD brains. These differences are not flaws—they’re simply part of how neurodivergent minds are wired.
1. Executive Functioning Challenges and Cognitive Rigidity
One of the biggest obstacles to psychological flexibility for neurodivergent individuals is executive dysfunction—difficulties with planning, decision-making, and shifting between tasks (Demetriou et al., 2019). Executive functioning is regulated by the prefrontal cortex, and differences in this region contribute to the struggles many Autistic and ADHD individuals face with adaptability.
Cognitive Rigidity: Autistic individuals tend to process information in a structured, detail-oriented way. While this helps with deep focus and expertise, it also makes it harder to shift gears when things don’t go as expected (South et al., 2021).
Task Switching and ADHD: ADHD brains struggle with shifting attention and regulating focus. When an ADHD individual is hyperfocused on a task, breaking away from it to adapt to a new situation can be incredibly frustrating (Anderson et al., 2021).
🔹 Example: An Autistic adult might spend hours mentally preparing for a meeting, visualizing the process to reduce anxiety. If the meeting is suddenly rescheduled, the mental preparation feels wasted, triggering stress and difficulty adjusting to the new plan.
2. Sensory Sensitivities and Emotional Regulation
Psychological flexibility is closely tied to emotional regulation—the ability to manage emotional responses effectively. But for neurodivergent individuals, emotional regulation is heavily influenced by sensory processing differences (Robertson & Baron-Cohen, 2017).
Heightened Sensory Processing: Autistic individuals often experience sensory input more intensely, making unpredictable environments overwhelming (Pellicano & Burr, 2012).
Emotional Intensity in ADHD: ADHD is linked to emotional dysregulation, meaning emotions can escalate quickly, making it difficult to remain adaptable in stressful moments (Shaw et al., 2014).
🔹 Example: A sudden loud noise in a grocery store might be mildly annoying to a neurotypical person but could send an Autistic or ADHD individual into a heightened stress response, making it hard to continue shopping.
3. Difficulty with Uncertainty and Predictive Processing
Many neurodivergent adults prefer predictability because their brains process uncertainty differently. Research on Predictive Coding Theory suggests that Autistic individuals rely more on raw sensory input rather than relying on broad mental predictions (Van de Cruys et al., 2014). This means unexpected changes require significantly more cognitive effort to process.
Resistance to Uncertainty: If the brain is wired to rely on direct sensory data rather than quick generalizations, sudden changes feel chaotic rather than manageable.
Preference for Routine: Predictability reduces cognitive load, allowing neurodivergent individuals to feel safer and more in control.
🔹 Example: A change in work schedule might be a mild inconvenience for a neurotypical person but could cause an Autistic or AuDHD individual to experience heightened stress, needing extra time to mentally and emotionally adjust.
Building Psychological Flexibility: Strategies for Neurodivergent Adults
While psychological flexibility can be difficult for neurodivergent individuals, it can be improved with strategies that respect and accommodate different processing styles.
1. Gradual Exposure to Change
Introduce small, intentional changes into daily routines to practice adaptability.
Use visual schedules or written plans with built-in flexibility (e.g., “Plan A, but if necessary, Plan B”).
2. Nervous System Regulation
Use body-based strategies like deep breathing, weighted blankets, or fidget tools to reduce stress when unexpected changes occur.
Recognize signs of fight, flight, or freeze and develop self-soothing techniques in advance (Porges, 2011).
3. Self-Talk and Cognitive Reframing
Instead of viewing changes as disruptions, practice saying: “This is different, but I can handle it.”
Develop scripts or affirmations for handling unpredictability (e.g., “I can take my time adjusting to this.”).
4. Identify Strengths in Neurodivergent Processing
Recognize that preference for routine and predictability is not a weakness—it’s a valid way of managing cognitive energy.
Lean into strengths, such as deep focus, attention to detail, and creative problem-solving, when flexibility is required.
Conclusion: Psychological Flexibility as a Work in Progress
Psychological flexibility is a skill—one that can be especially difficult for neurodivergent individuals due to executive functioning differences, sensory sensitivities, and predictive processing styles. But understanding these challenges allows for self-compassion and strategic adaptation rather than self-criticism.
Instead of forcing themselves to function like neurotypicals, Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD adults can develop neurodivergent-friendly flexibility strategies—ones that honor their natural ways of thinking while making life’s unpredictability a little easier to manage.
At Myndset Therapeutics, we specialize in helping neurodivergent adults build strategies for resilience, self-regulation, and self-acceptance. Psychological flexibility doesn’t mean ignoring your needs—it means finding a way to adapt on your own terms.
References
Anderson, V., Spencer-Smith, M., & Wood, A. (2021). Neurocognitive outcomes in ADHD: Executive functioning and self-regulation. Developmental Neuropsychology, 46(4), 220-238. https://doi.org/10.1080/87565641.2021.1892412
Demetriou, E. A., Lampit, A., Quintana, D. S., Naismith, S. L., & Whitehouse, A. J. O. (2019). Executive function in autism spectrum disorder: A meta-analysis. Autism Research, 12(4), 538-555. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2087
Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes, and outcomes. Behavior Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1-25. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2005.06.006
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
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