If you’re an adult with ADHD—or know someone who is—you might recognize this: a gut-punch reaction to rejection or criticism, even if it’s unintentional. That overwhelming emotional response is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), and it’s something I see often in my clients. RSD is intense, painful, and can feel impossible to manage. But I’ve developed a tool I call the STOP Method to help interrupt its cycle and regain control.
Let me walk you through what RSD is, why it’s so closely tied to ADHD, and how the STOP Method can help you manage it.
What Is RSD?
RSD isn’t an official diagnosis, but for many people with ADHD, it’s a defining experience. It’s the feeling of emotional devastation triggered by perceived rejection, criticism, or failure—whether real or imagined.
Here’s an example: A coworker offers constructive feedback, and instead of taking it in stride, it feels like a personal attack. Or a friend doesn’t text back immediately, and suddenly you’re convinced they’re angry at you. These reactions can spiral into sadness, shame, or even anger.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And, importantly, there’s nothing wrong with you. RSD is tied to how ADHD affects the emotional and neurological systems in your brain.
Why Does RSD Happen in Adults with ADHD?
ADHD isn’t just about focus and impulsivity; it’s also about emotional regulation—or the difficulty many of us have with it. Emotional dysregulation makes small setbacks feel enormous and criticisms feel catastrophic. This happens because ADHD brains process emotions differently, often with heightened sensitivity.
Dr. William Dodson, a psychiatrist specializing in ADHD, describes RSD as “intense and overwhelming,” and I couldn’t agree more. It’s not a choice or an overreaction—it’s your brain’s wiring. RSD can make the emotional “volume” in your life feel stuck on maximum.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing RSD
Here are some common ways RSD shows up for people with ADHD:
Intense Emotional Reactions: A small critique feels like the end of the world.
Avoiding Risks: You steer clear of situations where rejection might happen.
Perfectionism: You work so hard to avoid criticism that you burn yourself out.
People-Pleasing: You say “yes” to everything, even at your own expense.
Introducing the STOP Method
RSD can feel overwhelming, but I developed the STOP Method to help you regain control when those big feelings hit. It’s a simple, actionable tool designed to interrupt the emotional spiral and give you space to reset.
S: Stop
Stop whatever you’re doing. When you feel that gut-punch reaction, physically pause. Interrupt the moment by taking a deep breath, stepping away, or even saying “STOP” out loud to yourself.
T: Think
Ask yourself, “Is this RSD?” This is the most important question. Recognizing that your feelings are tied to RSD can help you separate your emotions from the situation and create some emotional distance.
O: Operate
Move your body or engage in a simple task to redirect your brain. Take a walk, do some stretching, or even just drink a glass of water. The act of moving helps shift your nervous system from a reactive state to a more regulated one.
P: Process
After the moment has passed, reflect. Ask yourself, “Did this work? How do I feel now?” Processing helps you identify patterns and refine how you respond to RSD in the future.
Other Strategies for Managing RSD
While the STOP Method can be incredibly effective in the moment, it’s also important to build long-term strategies for managing RSD. Here are some additional tools I recommend:
Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help reframe negative thought patterns and reduce the intensity of emotional responses.
Mindfulness Practices
Techniques like deep breathing and meditation can improve emotional regulation and give you space to respond rather than react.
Medication
For some, medications like guanfacine or SSRIs can help manage the emotional dysregulation that accompanies ADHD and RSD.
Support Groups
Talking to others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating and provide new coping strategies.
Why the STOP Method Works
The STOP Method is designed to disrupt the intense emotional spiral of RSD by combining mindfulness, movement, and reflection. It’s simple enough to use in the heat of the moment but powerful enough to create lasting change when practiced regularly.
A Final Thought
RSD can feel all-consuming, but it doesn’t have to define you. The STOP Method, combined with other strategies like therapy and mindfulness, can help you regain control over your emotions and live with more confidence and ease.
You’re not broken or overly sensitive—you’re navigating a unique challenge that’s part of how your brain works. If this resonates with you, let’s work together to build tools and strategies tailored to your needs. You can take charge of RSD and live a fulfilling, balanced life.
[Reach out today if you’d like support on this journey. Together, we can find the tools that work best for you.]
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